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The holidays are touted to be the time of year to be joyful and most of all have fun and spend time with family and/or friends. For some, however, the holidays when families and/or friends gather to celebrate and share the joy of the season are not joyful. Because family matters are conducted behind closed doors this 'unhappy event' goes unnoticed and the victim of this cruel experience takes its toll. I speak of the unspeakable—sexual child abuse. Countless children are abused at family gatherings. While everyone is talking, laughing and having a good time, beloved Uncle Lewey, Grandpa or family friend, walks out of the living room (ostensibly to go to the bathroom) but instead goes into his niece's/granddaughter's or family friend’s room, where she is 'hanging out.' He nonchalantly chats with her and before she realizes what he is about to do, he has planted a kiss on her lips and forced his tongue into her mouth and/or fondles her breast. He then tells her she is so sexy he couldn’t stop himself, she is very special and it is their secret or he threatens her that if she tells he will say she is a 'liar' or worse yet, she 'came onto' him. Thus, she is forced into silence and shame. While I realize this scenario is difficult to fathom, it is all too real and all too frequent. However, this scenario doesn't need to end tragically, something can be done to prevent or mitigate it. No one is born a molester, yet all too often victims become perpetrators. Sexual child abuse has become a family tradition-Uncle Lewey was abused by his father, mother, uncle, cousin or aunt and now he has abused his niece. Or grandpa was abused by someone and he now has abused his granddaughter. How, you may ask, can this be possible when so many people are around-no one would risk being seen sexually abusing a child? Unfortunately, this rationalization merely avoids accepting the truth about sexual abuse perpetrators. It only takes a second to abuse a child. Furthermore, few people recognize what constitutes sexual child abuse. Sexual touch—a sensuous or ‘wet’ kiss on the lips, touching or fondling erogenous areas cause as much trauma as genital contact. All sexual abuse and/or sexual touch is damaging because it is first and foremost a betrayal of trust. PREVENTION is possible. However, for a child to be able to prevent this experience, she or he needs to have knowledge of and permission to exercise self-protection. Without knowledge of and permission to exercise self-protection, the only defense a child has against any kind of abuse is to accept the blame. A child cannot conceive the idea, "My father, uncle, mother, grandpa, grandma, aunt, brother, sister, cousin, friend, teacher, or baby-sitter is sick and is harming me." Therefore, the only way to survive sexual abuse or incest is to assume that it is his or her fault. A child has unquestioning trust for everyone in the family or persons of acquaintance or authority. Parents generally teach girls to be passive, compliant, non-assertive, co-operative and reward them for doing so. Girls are raised to be 'quiet, sweet and pretty' they are never to make a 'scene.' It is not surprising then, that girls are (according to statistics) twice as likely to be sexually abused. Perpetrators know who and how to target their victims. Boys are taught, expected and praised to be tough and self-assured, even at times when something troubles them. Whenever a person is traumatized, he or she resorts to familiar behavior; for girls this behavior usually means passivity while boys usually 'tough it out'-thinking if they are strong and unemotional, no harm can occur. Self-protection offers a direct and effective way to empower children to help themselves. Since perpetrators cunningly and with forethought sets the stage to perpetrate this crime in secrecy, who is better able than the child to protect him or herself? Perpetrators say they can sense a child to victimize; they sense this by the child's demeanor, body language and facial expressions. They sense the fear, the helplessness, their compliant attitude and their passivity. Perpetrators choose victims who they assume will keep their secret. No child needs to fall prey to these cunning predators. The first response the majority of people form when hearing of sexual abuse or incest is denial. 'I do not have to be concerned about that in my community. This would never happen in my family.' The unbelievable reality is that a person who sexually abuses children may seem very average and ordinary to the world. He or she may be a leader in the church, in the community or in business. He or she does not fit a classic stereotype and is not necessarily uneducated, unemployed, impoverished or an alcoholic. Furthermore, we find sexual abuse and incest even more difficult to believe or accept when the person we like, admire, love, and/or marry is the perpetrator of the abuse. Tragically, the unwillingness to accept the facts concerning sexual abuse perpetrators leaves children vulnerable to becoming victims and increases the likelihood that they will be abused. 'Traditionally, incest was defined as: sexual intercourse between two persons too closely related to marry legally--sex between siblings, first cousins, the seduction by fathers of their daughters. This dysfunctional blood relationship, however, does not completely describe what children are experiencing. To fully understand all sexual abuse, we need to look beyond the blood bond and include the emotional bond between the victim and his or her perpetrator. Thus, a new definition has emerged. The new definition now relies less on the blood bond between the victim and the perpetrator and more on the experience of the child. Incest is both sexual abuse and an abuse of power. It is violence that does not require force. Another is using the victim, treating them in a way that they do not want or in a way that is not appropriate by a person with whom a different relationship is required. It is abuse because it does not take into consideration the needs or wishes of the child; rather, it meets the needs of the other person at the child's expense. If the experience has sexual meaning for another person, in lieu of a nurturing purpose for the benefit of the child, it is abuse. If it is unwanted or inappropriate for her age or the relationship, it is abuse. Incest [sexual abuse] can occur through words, sounds, or even exposure of the child to sights or acts that are sexual but do not involve her. If she is forced to see what she does not want to see, for instance, by an exhibitionist, it is abuse. If a child is forced into an experience that is sexual in content or overtone that is abuse. As long as the child is induced into sexual activity with someone who is in a position of greater power, whether that power is derived through the perpetrator's age, size, status, or relationship, the act is abusive. A child who cannot refuse, or who believes she or he cannot refuse, is a child who has been violated. (E. Sue Blume, Secret Survivors)." Sexual abuse can be as subtle (covert) as any person showing pornographic pictures or movies to a child. It is any man hugging a child while pressing his hard penis against her. It is anyone consistently invading a child's privacy, such as entering the bathroom or bedroom without knocking, catching her unaware and indisposed. It is playfully pulling her swimsuit bottom down in the pool or pulling her panties down without her permission. Sexual abuse is anyone bathing the child when the child is old enough to bathe herself. It is any person who touches or caresses the child in ways she does not like or in ways that are sexual. It is any man holding a child on his lap when he has an erection. It is any trusted adult who stares at or makes comments about the child's body. It is anyone kissing the child in a way that is sexual for the giver. It is seemingly innocuous touching, wrestling, tickling, or playing which has sexual overtones or meaning for the other person. Sexual abuse is as blatant (overt) as instructing or asking the child to lie in bed in an intimate position, fondling, digital, penis or object penetration of the rectum or vagina, or instructing a child to perform oral sex or performing oral sex on the child. It is forcing the child to touch others or be touched by others, including other children. A classic example of covert sexual abuse while people are present is exemplified by a 39 year-old woman who came to me after having a severe panic attack. During our investigation as to what was the root cause of the panic attack she revealed she had been sexually abused when she was nine by a 'nice man,' who was a family friend. "He helped me on with my coat while attending a family gathering. As he adjusted my coat onto my shoulder, he fondled my breast." This type fondling is often times referred to as 'coping a feel.' No matter the label, it is sexual abuse and causes damage. As an adult woman you know how icky it feels when a man 'cops a feel.' Can you imagine what it would feel like for a nine-year-old, who has no information to comprehend and emotionally resolve what she experienced? Overt sexual abuse is openly sexual and apparent. Although there may be an attempt to deny that it is abusive, there is no attempt to hide the fact that it is sexual in nature. Covert sexual abuse is more insidious. Thus, identifying it is harder, because the sexual nature of the action is disguised. The perpetrator acts as if she or he is doing something non-sexual, when in fact he or she is being sexual. The betrayal then becomes two-fold. The child is not only abused, but also tricked or deceived about the act. In this dishonesty, the child is unable to identify or clarify his or her perception of the experience. The unreal or surreal sense that accompanies any sexual abuse is intensified when the child is tricked into disbelief. Thus, the child doubts his or her perceptions and feelings and believes that there is something wrong with himself or herself because he or she feels terrible. To make matters worse, everyone around her or him acts as if nothing is wrong. Thus, she or he feels crazy, as if she or he is the one with the problem. A classic example of overt sexual abuse while people are present is exemplified by the incident a client, who is a sexual abuse survivor, reported about seeing her father (her perpetrator) kiss her one-year-old niece on the pubic area after her niece had taken a bath. Her sister, the child's mother, the child's grandmother, (wife of the perpetrator) were present. "My sister and mother (the child's grandmother) laughed and I got sick to the stomach. Am I over reacting," she asked. Obviously, her sister and mother are unaware of the definition of sexual abuse. Except for the fact this woman was in recovery and could clarify the experience she would not have considered it sexual abuse either. The frightening truth about sexual abuse and incest perpetrators is that within their mindset, they do not hold beliefs reflecting society's moral and ethical values. Because of a child's innocence and trust of the abuser, usually pressure or violence is not required. Thus, the sexual abuse or incest perpetrator can unequivocally state, "Never ever. I could never harm a child or anyone. It's not in my heart. It's not who I am." Michael Jackson, 1993. Sexual abuse and incest perpetrators frequently pass lie detector tests. They feel no inner conflict with what they have done. Their moral and ethical values do not reflect the standards on which the test is based. If you have the slightest cause for concern, trust your intuition and seek professional intervention. Trusting and acting on our intuition or sixth sense is paramount to protecting children from perpetrators, no matter whether they are family members, family friends, doctors, dentists, teachers, etc. When intuitiveness or a sixth sense has been activated in detecting danger, it can be identified by a change in one's physiology. First: Accept the fact that sexual abuse perpetrators may seem very average and ordinary to the world. In spite of all the reports of sexual abuse by pillars of the community-teachers, clergy, coaches, we still want to cling to the belief that a sexual abuse perpetrator is the disheveled man with a scraggly beard, wearing a dirty trench coat. It is difficult to believe the people we like, admire, trust and love would do such a heinous thing. Second: Accept the definition of sexual abuse. (See definition above) Third: Know the signs your child is being targeted: Self-protection offers a direct and effective method for children to protect themselves. Who, other than the child, is in a better position to protect him/herself? Perpetrators say they can sense a child to victimize. They can tell by the child's demeanor, body language, and facial expression. They sense the fear, the helplessness, the passivity. They chose a child who is easily intimidated or controlled so hopefully the child won't tell. Secrecy is paramount for the perpetrator. Whenever a person is traumatized, he or she resorts to familiar behavior; for girls this behavior is usually passivity, while boys usually 'tough it out'-thinking if they are strong and unemotional, no harm can occur. Sexual crimes against children can only be committed if the perpetrator finds someone who will hopefully keep the secret. No child needs to fall prey to these cunning predators. There are seven child tested, parent approved sexual child abuse prevention techniques, which will protect your child from the most cunning predators. If you heed and investigate these warning signals you can prevent continued abuse. Warning signals include: • * an aversion to a person, place or event. • * outbursts of anger and there is no apparent reason known for such anger. • * any unusual or unexplained behavior change. Ceasing an activity that was once done without hesitation. • * not wanting to be around a particular person. • * family member/friend seems to foster a relationship with your child more for him/herself than for your child. • * secretiveness between the child and adult Fourth: What to do: • * Teach Good/Appropriate Touch with regard to anyone. • * Teach Appropriate Body Boundaries with regard to anyone. • * Foster Self-Esteem and Good Body Image • * Teach the "Tell Mommy and Daddy Everything-No Secrets rule. • * Allow your child to command respect regarding dislikes and touch with family members, friends or authority figures. • * Talk with and listen to your child until you are satisfied the aversion is unrelated to improper behavior by anyone. • * Check on your child occasionally whenever they are with another adult or other times to become 'known' as an attentive parent. • * Trust and honor your child's intuitive reactions. If your child feels uncomfortable with someone, respect their intuitive sense—honor their intuitive sense. • * Appropriate Suspicion—trusting and acting on your intuition or sixth sense is paramount. If you have confusion regarding a person's actions, nagging/persistent thoughts or feelings, hesitation, general suspicion, apprehension, fear, doubt, a hunch, curiosity regarding a person's actions or statements, or questions regarding a person's proclamation that is not substantiated by their actions—trust your intuition or sixth sense. • * If you err in evaluating the situation, make the error on the side of caution. The important factor is not that you have avoided offending someone, but that you have protected your child's interest. • * Remember it only takes a second to sexually abuse anyone—child or adult pro solution wealth prosolution penis enhancement pills penis enlagement pump truth about penis enlarement free penis enlargment exercise com enlargement pnis pnis pump pnis enlargement fact medical penile enlargment
When trying to improving any aspect of your health, cutting down on stress is virtually always helpful. In men, emotional stress is thought to reduce sperm count by interfering with normal hormone production. When there is a longing desire on the part of a couple to have a child, it adds to the overall stress level for both partners. Anti-stress activities are always a good idea. Such activities include regular gentle exercise, deep breathing and progressive relaxation, and getting enough sleep. Women who are struggling with infertility have been found to struggle with depression as much as women with life threatening diseases like cancer! For both partners, the inability to produce a baby has a tendency to erode the self-esteem. Much of our self image hinges on our femininity or our masculinity. We feel less as a woman, especially when we are around our friends who seem to be able to get pregnant "every time their husband lays his pants on the bed" as the old saying goes. The same loss of self-worth happens to our husbands, and we know how delicate men's egos can be! (Women's egos, too?) Infertility can strain the relationship, too. If one partner blames the other, a wall can begin to grow between the two of you. Between the growing disappointment and the necessity to perform on demand when the ovulation indicators say to, the stress on the marriage can be serious. The best way to remedy this is to affirm to your spouse that you will face the problem together, being glad you have them even with the disappointment of infertility. Having the support of a group of other couples dealing with the same problems can be a big help to your emotional outlook. That support group can even be online. The sexual relationship can be stressed by infertility, since performance is related to success. However, if you stop to think about it, there are only a few days you can become pregnant. If you focus on the relationship the rest of the time, you can rekindle those warm fuzzies and enjoy sex more, which is good for the emotional side of the relationship. Sometimes taking a break from the temperature charting and scheduled rendezvous can make a big difference, even resulting in the pregnancy that has been so elusive. Baby showers can be difficult, as can social gathering where many of your friends' and family members' children will be in attendance. It is permissible to skip the showers. Simply send a gift ahead or with someone else. Grab something quick or order something online, but don't take a long time shopping through baby clothes. Board books or some baby toiletries can be picked up without a long stay in the baby department. In any difficult time of waiting and disappointment, it's a good idea to stay busy. Use the free time you have to enjoy hobbies or learn new skills. Enjoy humor with your single friends and your spouse. One distressing but normal part of trying hard to get pregnant is that you can psychologically imagine that you have the symptoms of pregnancy, such as nausea and frequent urination. It is very easy to get your hopes up every month. If a home pregnancy test comes out negative, however, it's probably accurate. They tend to be very reliable. There's even a condition called pseudocyesis in which women experience even more symptoms, such as feeling movements and even the abdomen increasing in size. This condition is sometimes called a false pregnancy, and is most common in married women who have experienced pregnancy before. Premenstrual symptoms can mimic pregnancy symptoms with nausea and breast enlargement being quite common sensations. It is disappointing, however, when your period starts a day or two later. Try not to let a little nausea make you get your hopes up. In some cases a woman has all the symptoms of pregnancy, and even have a positive result on a pregnancy test. Yet a miscarriage happens a month or two later, and no fetus is found in the material discharged. This condition is called a "blighted ovum" and probably indicates a baby was conceived but had genetic abnormalities which prevented it from developing normally. As with any endeavor in life, positive thinking can make a big difference. If you can keep from giving up hope, it will help. It also helps to place the outcome of your quest for a baby into the hands of a higher power. Prayer has helped many seemingly infertile couples go on to produce a houseful of happy, healthy children. Striving to be at peace with the outcome is imperative, however, because ultimately, a child is a gift from God, and it doesn't help matters to struggle emotionally with the things we can't understand. pennis enlargement excersizes free magna rx penile enlargment fact does vig rx work best penis enlarement surgery does vimax work permanent penis enlargement compare penis enargement pills herbal natural penile enlargment
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The penis enlargement market is growing by the day as more and more men join the trend that’s slowly moving into the mainstream. Men worried about the size of their penises and men who are doing just fine, but want to gain a little extra length, are all starting on penis enlargement. But the question is: how many of them actually manage to successfully finish their enlargement programs? And what are the causes of failures reported by these men. Well, the top reasons why men fail in their quest for bigger penises are boredom and lack of motivation. You have to realize that many men fail simply because they aren’t motivated enough. They are enthusiastic about starting their penis enlargement exercises, but lose interest after some time. Some don’t have the willpower to stick to the program and get depressed over the lack of results. Others are simply bored by everything that doesn’t provide results within five minutes. Still others decide that penis enlargement is too much trouble. Another big issue, one that plagues committed penis enlargement customers, is the incorrect assessment of workout intensity. In time, some users find a certain performance pace in their workouts and fail to realize that workout intensity should increase over time. The intensity of a beginner’s workout is no longer suitable after two months of workouts. And at the opposite pole are the guys who rush straight into a high-intensity workout without going through the beginner phase. These people always manage to injure themselves by trying to cheat time and obtain results way ahead of schedule. Both these groups end up in the demotivation zone simply because they are out of sync with the proper workout schedule. In a similar situation are those who aren’t aware that they should change their routines. As the body adapts to the exertion, heavily used exercises become less and less effective and should be replaced with new ones. There are plenty to choose from, so that shouldn’t be a problem. Keep in mind that once you’ve squeezed everything from an exercise, it’s time to move on to other routines. It’s the only way those inches will start adding. Not paying proper attention to advice offered by penis enlargement experts is also a big problem. For instance, men who engage in penis enlargement exercises are told time and again that they should abstain from sex for two or three hours after finishing a workout session. The penis needs time to heal and rebuild broken tissues and further exertion is likely to interfere with this process. Still, some people refuse to follow this piece of advice. While I do understand that it’s a shame to waste a perfectly good hard-on, I also know that advice coming from experts should be heeded. Not paying proper attention to exercise instructions is even worse of a problem. Although the exercises are fairly easy to follow, especially with a video demonstration attached, some people fail to get them right. This is the reason behind most of the injuries reported by penis enlargement users. People failing to perform exercises as shown or trying to improve on the design. There are also people who don’t know when to stop and think they can tank through the pain and make it on the other side through sheer willpower. Although a certain level of pain is normal during penis enlargement exercises, intense pain is a clear sign that you should stop whatever it is you’re doing and let your penis recover. And the last issue on my list of mistakes is warming up and down. This is yet another thing that men are told they must do before and after workout sessions. Still, some men choose to skip this part of the program. Warming up and down is very important to preparing the tissues for the coming workout and for the healing and rebuilding process. Although some men can do without the warming up and down, most men should follow these procedures. It is in their best interest. So there you have it. A list of common mistakes people make and which hinder their efforts to add those extra inches to their penises. Forewarned, you can avoid these pitfalls and keep on the path to safe and effective penis enlargement. Have fun and stay safe. natural penile enlargment penis elargement result home penis enlarement manual pennis enlargement exercise penis enlargement operation free penis enhancement tip pro solution pill vimax free natural penis enlargement herbal natural penile enlargment
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