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It used to be so easy. All you needed was a thick mane of tousled auburn locks, high cheekbones and a determined little chin; add an ounce of determination and an event from your past that haunts you still. Then, wham! You were the perfect fictional heroine.
But now it’s not so simple. With television shows like Grey’s Anatomy and Ally McBeal, books like Bridget Jones’s Diary and Good in Bed, and movies like Miss Congeniality and Legally Blonde, we’re getting all sorts of mixed messages over how the ideal woman is supposed to be. What’s a modern girl who wants to hold herself up to impossible standards to do?
Simple! Just follow these guidelines, and you’ll be as witty, complex and neurotic as the rest of them. In other words – you will be the perfect, modern-day fictional heroine.
Step 1 – Be Flawed
This step is super easy, because come on, we’re all already flawed anyway, right? Right! Except for one little catch. It is necessary to adopt the correct flaws, and these three are non-negotiable.
1.) You must be self-involved. This includes comparing your own petty personal problems to things like death, war, and injustice, and finding some sort of unique parallel no matter what the situation may be. It also includes having a constant inner dialogue with yourself where you point out these parallels with witty commentary. For example: “Even the news reminded me of him. Yesterday I saw this report that said routine circumcision in Africa could prevent 300,000 deaths in the next ten years. What a shocker! Chopping away at a guy’s penis could help eliminate pain, loss, and heart-ache. What will they think of next?”
2.) You must have issues with food. If you plan to be a television or movie heroine, this means that you cannot eat. Period. If you plan to be a book heroine, this means that you must eat all the time, except when you’re not eating, and then you should be thinking about eating. I strongly recommend the second option.
3.) You must become preoccupied with an unhealthy relationship. This includes but is not limited to, relationships with boyfriends, friends, mothers, fathers, roommates, and exes. Especially exes.(And make sure that your ex is dreamy, preferably with a new girlfriend who is in no way as good for him as you were.)
Step 2 – Practice Retail Therapy
Today’s modern day fictional heroine realizes one fundamental truth – that there is no problem too big or too small that cannot be remedied with shopping. Again, there is a catch; you need to be careful of what you go shopping for. Hard and fast rule – anything that’s practical or cheap is out. Other than that, I have provided you a list of approved shopping items, with the most highly recommended items on top, and continued in descending order:
• Designer shoes
• Designer beauty products
• Designer chocolate
• Designer purses
• Designer lingerie
• Anything else designer
• Clothes (This is listed as the very last option because although clothes shopping can be a lot of fun, if you happen to have gone up a size, the blow to your ego will be so enormous that it will negate the therapeutic aspect of said retail therapy.)
Step 3 – Have a purpose, deeply question it, then either accept it or abandon it to find a new purpose.
Rather than go into unnecessary detail, I have created a handy-dandy chart. Just pick an option from each column and you’ll be good to go.
Column A
1.You’re a (lawyer, publisher, or banker) and you love the power and money.
2.You’re a (doctor, policewoman, or writer) and you love changing lives.
3.You’re a stay-at-home mom and you love your family.
4.You’re all of the above, and you’ve never been so fulfilled!
Column B
1.It’s all getting to be too much and nobody understands you.
2.None of it means anything anymore and nobody understands you.
3.You wish you could have some time for yourself, and why doesn’t anyone understand you?
4.Is this really what you set out to do? You did major in art history after all.
Column C
1. After meeting the right guy, you decide to chuck it all and live overseas.
2. After falling back in love with the guy you’ve been with for years, you decide to start your own home-based greeting card company.
3. After realizing that the nerdy guy is actually the one for you, you return to your career with a new sense of purpose.
4. Who needs health insurance anyway? You decide to take some time off just to focus on you.
Conclusion:
So you see; it’s really not that hard for truth to imitate fiction. Gone are the days of walking moors, wearing corsets, and dying of consumption. Nowadays all you need is a little attitude thrown in with a barely noticeable social complex. So get your credit cards ready, preheat the oven for those brownies, and start living your life as if everyone can (and wants to) hear what you have to say. A new age has arrived!
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Warts are small benign growths on the skin, caused by a variety of related, slow-acting viruses HPV (human papilloma virus). There are at least sixty known types of HPV. Warts may appear singly or in clusters. We will talk about three types of warts: Common warts, Plantar warts, and genital warts.
Common warts can be found anywhere on the body, but are most common on the hands, fingers elbows, forearms, knees, face, and the skin around the nails. Most often, they occur on skin that is expose to constant friction, trauma, or abrasion. They can also occur on the larynx (the voice box) and cause hoarseness. Common warts may be flat or raised, dry or moist, and have a rough and pitted surface that is either the same color as or slightly darker than the surrounding skin.
They can be as small as a pinhead or as large as small bean. Highly contagious, the virus that causes common warts is acquired through breaks in the skin. Common warts can spread if they picked, trimmed, bitten or touched, Warts on the face can spread as a result of shaving.
Common warts typically do not cause pain or itching.
Plantar warts occur on the sales of the feet and the underside of the toes. They are bumpy white growths that may resemble calluses, except that they can be tender to the touch and often bleed if the surface is trimmed. They also often have an identifiable hard center. Plantar warts do not tend to spread to other parts of the body.
Genital warts soft, moist growths found in and around the vagina, anus, penis, groin, and/or scrotum. In men, they can grow in the urethra as well. They are usually pink or red in color and resemble tiny heads of cauliflower. Genital warts most often occur in clusters, but they can appear singly as well. They are transmitted through vaginal, oral, or anal intercourse, and are highly contagious. Because the warts do not usually appear until three months or more after an individual becomes infected with the HPV that causes them, the virus can be spread before the carrier is even aware that he or she has it. Although genital warts are not cancerous, they appear to cause changes in the cervix that may be a precursor of cervical cancer.
An infant born to a mother with genital warts may contract the virus. If you have genital warts, you are not alone. Between the start of the “sexual revolution” in the sixties and the late eighties, reported occurrences of these warts increased tenfold. By 1990, one million cases a year were being reported in the United States alone.
We recommend.
Fresh Aloe vera juice is applied directly to dissolve warts and tone the skin.
Proteolytic Enzymes: Papaya (papain), Pineapple (bromelain), banana peel and figs contain enzymes that digest and dissolve warts in a safe manner.
The fresh plant, sap (figs) or concentrate (papain) can be applied; any of these can be taped to the skin for several hours.
Milkweed a weed that is wide spread across North America; the fresh milky sap of the leaf or stem is applied directly to warts once a day. Usually works dramatically; non-irritating, does not affect normal skin.
Increase the amount of sulfur-containing amino acids in your diet by eating more asparagus, citrus fruits, eggs, garlic, and onions.
By Charles Silverman N.D.
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Have you seriously considered surgery to increase the size of your breasts? There are a lot of issues you should seriously consider before you make this choice, as well as other, non surgical breast enlargement options you should be aware of before making such an important decision.
First, some women believe breast implants are lifetime devices. This is not true. Implants need to be replaced approximately once every ten years of your life. This means you may undergo surgery several times in your life just for implant replacement, possibly even more if you have complications related to the surgery or the implant itself.
Many of the changes to your breast following implantation are irreversible. If you later choose to have your implants removed, it is possible you may see dimpling, puckering, wrinkling, and other undesirable cosmetic changes in appearance happen to your breasts. This is another reason many women are opting for all natural breast enlargement alternatives and non surgical breast enlargement pills, treatments and devices.
Health insurance premiums may increase for patients who have undergone breast augmentation surgery, even if it was for reconstructive purposes. Also, be aware that treatment of any related complications may not be covered by your health insurance, and many times the corrective surgery can cost much more than the initial implant surgery.
Even better, skip the surgery, and seriously consider a non surgical alternative form of breast augmentation - an all natural noninvasive breast enlargement treatment or system that can enlarge your breasts a few cup sizes with the correct usage and adequate time for best results. Most natural breast enlargement systems consist of varying blends of natural herbs and compounds that are known to stimulate the mammary glands and facilitate and encourage the growth of new breast tissue by promoting just the right hormonal balance.
There are even non surgical breast enlargement devices now that have been proven to stimulate new breast tissue growth through the utilization of suction(the Brava system). This system has worked for many women, but common complaints are heard about how long the device needs to be worn every day, making it an inconvenience, and the mandatory physician supervision seems to be another drawback.
In short, there has been an overwhelming demand for alternative breast enlargement products, and of course, marketers have in turn overwhelmed the marketplace with new products constantly being introduced. Be aware not all of these products are created equally - not by far. Some of them do not work at all, and some even can cause hormone-related problems like acne and PMS-like symptoms for the whole duration of treatment, while this should only be a possible side effect at the beginning, while your body is adjusting itself (similar to the birth control pill).
These authentic natural breast enhancement products are the secret plastic surgeons don't want you to know about. There are some highly effective all natural breast enlargement alternative products that really deliver results for a high percentage of women desiring larger breasts who don't want surgery. Do the research, you'll find this truly can be an effective and realistic option to pursue.
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Prostatitis simply means an inflammation of the prostate gland. The symptoms are uncomfortable at best; more often they are extremely painful and can also be dangerous. Symptoms may include pain and swelling in the area of the prostate, fever, chills, pain in the lower back, burning or painful urination, a need to urinate frequently and get up in the night, dribbling, fatigue and body aches, and pain with ejaculation. Prostatitis can severely affect the quality of life. Rigorous activity, sports, exercise-even sitting for any length of time in an office, theater or at a sporting event may become too painful to tolerate. And as for sex - it's simply not an option.
The statistics are alarming. It's estimated that over 50% of all men will suffer from prostatitis some time in their lives. And what's worse is prostatitis is no respecter of age. It can strike any adult male - and with painful consequences.
According to the American Foundation for Urologic Disease, 25% of all office visits by young and middle-aged men for genital and urinary problems are the result of prostatitis http://www.prostatehealthtips.com/prostatitis.html. It hits men in the prime of life and also is considered to be the most common of all diseases among middle-aged men.
Adding to the problem is the fact that contemporary medicine really doesn't know much about prostatitis. The Prostate Foundation has termed it "the bastard child" of urology. Though it is the most widespread disease of the prostate, it's also the least understood and the least researched. As a consequence, it is frequently misdiagnosed.
Physicians sometimes have difficulty distinguishing between the symptoms of prostatitis and benign prostate enlargement (BPH). A Harvard University study showed that urologists seeing patients with the same symptoms diagnosed them with prostatitis if they were under 50 and with BPH if they were over 50. In addition, there are four types of prostatitis, the most common of which is unfortunately the one that is the most baffling.
Prostatitis can be either acute or chronic. That is to say that it can have a sudden onset and be relatively short-lived, or be an ongoing and aggravating problem.
Acute prostatitis is likely to occur intermittently. It can cause fever, bladder discomfort, frequent and burning urination, and blood or pus in the urine. It can also result in infertility.
Chronic prostatitis is ongoing and usually increases with time. Its symptoms may include frequent urination, blood in the urine, a burning sensation, discomfort in the prostate area and lower back, painful ejaculation and even impotence.
Nonbacterial prostatitis is the most common form of the disease, but because it is also the least understood, it's the most difficult to treat. Nonbacterial prostatitis is frequently a chronic, painful condition found in men of any age. Symptoms may disappear and then return suddenly. Though no evidence of bacteria is found, semen and other prostate fluids contain cells that the body produces to fight infection.
Doctors often treat nonbacterial prostatitis with antibiotics and drugs that relax the muscles of the prostate gland, but these treatments have not been proven to be effective. In fact, they often do not work at all and can have unpleasant side effects as well.
The good news is, there are several herbal remedies that have been shown in clinical studies to help fight and in many cases - conquer prostate problems, including prostatitis. These herbs include pygeum africanum, saw palmetto and nettle root extract.
To learn more about treating prostatitis and other prostate health conditions, please visit our web site at www.prostatehealthtips.com
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AS A RULE, young mother have lots of questions. A baby is so small, he requires constant care and attention, and you’re afraid of hurting him. Genital hygiene causes especially many troubles. As for girls, here we can make for ourselves. But we understand nothing about boys. Let’s learn this science by ourselves.
Genital hygiene should be treated very carefully since the very birth. Otherwise, strangury, different inflammations or problems in youth age can occur. In fact, there’s nothing difficult here, you just need to learn several simple rules.
Boys
During first week, boys can suffer from scrotum edema. Genitals look too big and swelled up. You should not be worried. This is connected with the fact that through placenta or breast milk an excessive quantity of maternal hormones penetrates into a new-born baby’s organism. As a rule, this edema disappears in several days. But if such edema still presents by the end of the second week, apply for a doctor immediately.
Intimate hygiene for boys means regular (while each change of a diaper) washing of genitals with warm water. Doing this, you should move a skin wrinkle (foreskin) off a head of a penis necessarily. Fatty substance (smegma) is accumulated there, which should be removed. If you see reddening on foreskin, then you need to cleanse it with a cotton tampon, moistened in a light (light-pink) manganese solution or bur-marigold extract several times a day.
Sometimes, foreskin can be very narrow and does not allow baring a head of penis completely. In such case, it’s desirable to apply for a doctor as soon as possible. As a rule, a surgeon just needs to make a small cut of a skin wrinkle. And the earlier he does such operation, the better.
If a baby has very sensitive skin, then you may sometimes do just “dry” washing with the help of wet or oiled tissues. You should wash a baby’s genitals with soap no less than once in 4-5 days.
Girls
In the end of the first week of a girl’s life you may notice mucous excreta or excreta with some blood. As a rule, they disappear by itself in 2-3 days. This is also connected with excessive amount of maternal hormones coming to a girls’ organism. During this period, a baby needs careful care. Diapers should be changed every 1,5-2 hours. If excreta still take place for more than 3 days, you need to apply for a doctor.
Girls’ genitals are very sensitive and have rather low resistibility to different infections. The most common “female” disease of new-born babies is vulvitis (inflammation of external genitals). So, keep them clean and warm all the time. Every time you change a diaper, wash your daughter with warm water. You can wash her either under tap or with a cotton tampon moistened in water. Move from pubis to coccyx, to prevent excesses of excrement from coming to genitals. Soap should also be used no more than once in 4-5 days, to prevent skin from getting too dry.
And yet, try not to take a great interest in babies’ cosmetics. Use various creams, oils and powders only in case of need (while irritations and diaper rashes), not regularly. Otherwise you will break a natural protective skin layer of a new-born.
